Any Questions Answered a company that for £1 will answer any question you can think of(text 63336 with questions).

Questions asked include;

Dan Huntley: How cool is RockMonkey?
AQA: is very very cool indeed as the Wiki-powered site is run by Aberystwyth's number one dude & mountain-lover Andy Keohane.

MisterJta: Why is it inadvisible to have intimate physical relations with a geode?
AQA: A geode is a rock cavity, usually lined with crystals. AQA predicts that sex with a geode would be painful, unsatisfying, but shiny.

Dan Huntley: Is Santa Claus real?
AQA: Providing you believe in Santa Claus, then he will remain real. He is part of the traditional Christmas and also goes by the alias of Santa Claus.
His alias is the same as his name. Wow.

Dan Huntley: Is 'no' the answer to this question?
AQA: The question requires an answer that implies its own negation and is therefore a logically unsound proposition. It's impossible to be smarter than AQA.

Dan Huntley: If you read this you are gay.
AQA: Darn, you got AQA. Fortunately, if you have carried on reading this, then you are gay as well. Also, if you read this, you smell.

Mister J T A: Have you just injecterd LSD into my bottom?
AQA: No, AQA has not just injected LSD into your bottom, you will have to look elsewhere for the culprit. AQA does not condone the use of illegal drugs.

Mister J T A: Do not answer this message in any way, shape, or form... Cheery-bye!
AQA: Sorry, but AQA has to answer your text, as you have already paid for a reply. All said, goodbye, dear friend, have a lovely evening.

Mister J T A: What does Statto think about sex?
AQA: Statto thinks that sex is best done outside, with at least three people. He thinks about it all the time. Look! See! He's thinking about it now!!

Mister J T A: Do AQA researchers ever get fed up with having to answer stupid questions from drunk students, or is it all worth it for the safisfaction of a weird job well done?
AQA: This researcher is driven by the satisfaction of a job well done, although advising spotty adolescents on their love lives can be stressful at times.

Mister J T A: How do I get out of *this*?!
AQA: To get out of *this*, find a large cardboard box. Climb inside it and wait until everybody leaves, or it all blows over. Take sandwiches for a big *this*.

Restless Boy: What is the funniest thing that's ever happened?
AQA: The funniest thing that's ever happened was either Henry V winning at Agincourt, or the car being dumped in Victor Meldrew's skip.